I’ve decided to create a death ray. I know it’s a bit silly and will require an immense amount of resources, but competition among villains is fierce. My goal this year is to finally win Villain of the Year. The money alone would be a much-needed boost to my finances. I just don’t have the henchmen power I need to develop all of my projects. My battle armor is still just an idea as I just don’t have the time to devote to it. If only I could hire another scientist to reduce my burden.
Plus, I must schedule time to search for another healthcare provider for the henchmen. Even with the high deductible, those bastards are taking every one of my pilfered dollars. And I thought I was the villain… Perhaps I should seek other employment.
Well, enough loafing around. The death ray won’t build itself. Unfortunately.
I’ve finally managed to construct an acceptable blueprint of my death ray. The plan revolves around retrofitting an old observatory which should save me quite a bundle. It’s clear that the previous owner started a project of their own. Perhaps it, too, was a death ray. The telescope is a base for the internals of some sort of projectile weapon and the area underneath uses mass generators powered by geothermal energy.
The genius and beauty devoted to develop these things is overwhelming. I would very much love to meet this fellow scientist. We could discuss trends in world domination plots and perhaps even henchmen loyalty programs. We may even be able to do work together, in a perfectly professional capacity, of course. I hardly have time for trivial pursuits of dating or friendship, but I do miss having another intellectual mind to generate ideas with.
This facility will save me millions in development cost! Surely I will win Villain of the Year with such an astounding piece of work that will be my death ray.
I am so furious! While I was at the observatory, my main base was attacked by another villain. That bitch! Oh my, language. I’m terribly sorry Diary, but it had to be said. Everything inside was destroyed AND She recruited all of my henchmen guarding the base. I just don’t understand how She can be so persuasive or why She has been focusing her efforts on me so much as of late.
Fortunately, I keep all of my research on my laptop. The only information She will get is from the lengthy process of disassembling and inspecting my machinery. This doesn’t really make me any less angry. When I find Her, I will have to physically explain my frustrations with Her. I do loath to use violence, but this is a special exception. I’m so angry with Her that I cannot bear to write her name down.
At least She won’t find me here. I neglected to tell anyone where I would be disappearing to and have not brought anyone with me. This incident has cemented my resolve to completing the death ray and winning Villain of the Year.
I know I am awful for neglecting you, Diary, but it is not without reason. My death ray has been coming along so well and under budget. Without my main base to maintain and a significantly diminished workforce to pay, I have ample funds to devote to this project.
Oh! Something wonderful happened! I’m very excited to tell you about a project log I found from the previous owner. I stayed up for several days pouring over every detail until I passed out from exhaustion. The information about this observatory is simply riveting and I find myself unable to look away. Did I mention that the log is written by hand? By hand…
The handwriting is beautiful, Diary. I’ve never seen something so eloquent.
But something has been bothering me. Why did the scientist leave? The facilities here are amazing and the work poured into the projects here… I simply cannot comprehend why anyone would abandon the observatory willingly. Unless, the scientist died. No! I cannot accept such a fate. It would mean never having the chance to meet.
Other exciting news! I’ve been featured in Villainess Quarterly! Apparently, She failed to do the one thing on her agenda while raiding my base: to kill me. She’s NEVER failed to kill someone in her crosshairs until now. I’ve single-handedly marred Her perfect record! TAKE THAT #@%#*! Oh no! I’ve written her vile name in my diary in pen! I’ve scribbled it out. Can you forgive me, Diary?
Also, I found out the brilliant scientist’s initial is M.